I was transferred to St Bartholomew’s on a Sunday afternoon (31/1/16)

Every day was the same, we had a menu (which was nice but essentially it was covered week by week lol) There were 3 other people on the ward. I got used to the fact that I opened my eyes about 5am and then I waited until the Nurses had given me my pills ( Rivaroxaban 20mg, Amlodipine 5mg and Atorvastatin 40 mg daily ) and then I had each day either a Speech Therapist, a Physio for my leg and an Occupational Health. Then in the afternoon someone would visit me or I snoozed and also in the evening. I was supposed to have stayed in for 8 weeks…..I stayed in for 6 weeks and 1 day…. and that was too long lol It seemed that everybody was going slow.

Everyday, after I got up and dressed and sat down again, I just stared out the window, everyday.  I don’t think I knew what was going on, I think I just knew that I wasn’t supposed to be there and each day I just wanted to go home and back to work.

I remember doing things from my phone, like banking and transferring money, BBCi player ! I had to learn it all again. I had to remember what my mum and dad name was. My sisters and my nieces and nephews, I knew it, but for some reason i couldn’t think what it was.

Again in my head, I could do anything, but in realty I was re learning to send emails, look at the web etc, it didn’t take long (and again this is something that I have found) that until I have done it once, then it’s ok……..But sometimes I get pressure from going across the road for example,  I used to do that all the time, I don’t know what I am supposed to do, unless somebody tells me. It’s getting better all the time obviously.

I used to have sessions with the Speech Therapist. Again in my head, I apparently know it all, but i was amazed about how little i remembered.  It seriously was like going back and starting again.  Once i had been told or reminded, then it was fine.

One of the problems was to do with my leg (my arm was also was a pain) but the leg (as you will see below) needed a Splint from the Hospital. The Physio made a date in the diary after I as intending to move home. BTW I am now on number 8, but I will refer to that later.

Basically, the Physio who studied my leg, decided it wasn’t going over straight but in my head I needed to go home so they made me a Splint until I could go to the Orthotics.

The Occupational Health came round to my house (I was still in hospital) and decided what was needed to look after me at home. I lived in a 3 storey Town House…….

They decided I needed a chair for sitting upright, 3 pronged stick, a wheelchair and a high chair. And …. I was only supposed to stay on the ground floor. My garden room (or computer room) was going to be where I stayed until someone decided I could go upstairs. They made my Physio, Speech etc to go on the first week I went home.

We had a meeting, my partner then, my parents and the Physio, the Occupational Health and the Speech Therapist.  Lots of feelings got noted, but the hospital staff were completely against me coming home so soon and i was all for it …..

It was decided that I could go home early if I could go out side for a couple of hours and go in the car. So I did !!! It was my then partner’s birthday in a couple of weeks and we could go to Bluewater. We did a test drive on Friday 26^th February, my then partner drove round to the back door,  I stepped out and round and sat down in the seat of the car.

I must admit that wiped me out but also I was very pleased and excited.

On the next day we went to Bluewater. It was funny, because they had a disabled for the Toilets – Honestly, these are the things that make the whole experience amazing lol I was really scared sitting in the passenger seat going up to Bluewater until it calmed down and then I was fine.

One thing that I have noticed is that I am a lot more apprehensive about doing things that I haven’t done for a long time and then when I have done it, then, I am all right.

We had a disabled parking space, which was nice but for some reason,  I still don’t think that I need it, in my head I can drive like anyone else, weird.

On the way home in time for tea, I started singing – God, I used to have quite a good voice (and whilst it is getting better all the time)however,  everything was out of key ! Suddenly I could remember the tune but the words came back to me slowly. And again, now, I can remember the tune when something comes on the radio or suddenly a CD but I have forgotten what happened pre stroke until I get reminded of it.

The next week I was taken out by my dad to see the arrangements that had been put in place (plus a stair hand rail that had been put on the right hand side to match the left one)

On the 7^th March I came home

My then partner gave me a Telecare monitor  which works through an existing telephone line.  I had to put it on everyday before he would leave the house and then incase I fell (in the wheelchair ??? lol ) or anything, I just reached for the necklace and it dialed the main centre and automatically someone would answer ( I didn’t) but it was peace of mind.

I stayed downstairs for 2 weeks and then I started to walk upstairs to the kitchen/lounge area.

I had a carer who would come twice a day and check the emergency lifeline button. It was so lonely at first, there was lots of spare time, I could’t walk, I just sat there waiting for my friends and family or the Physio etc to come. ) I even used a Physio from a private company for 3 weeks. I then started to come up the stairs to the top floor (unfortunately, my Physio thought that I stayed downstairs, especially when she came round, but one day I was sitting talking to my parents – in a wheelchair on the middle floor and she came round……. She was not impressed as she had knocked and come in by the key and kind of demanded a explanation as to how I had come up the stairs.  Every week she came in and did some exercises with me as well as my dad.

We had a 50^th Birthday Celebration at my parents. I hadn’t been down to Canterbury since I had a stroke and again it felt quite scary lol We had a lovely time, far to much to eat. It felt horrible going from the car to the back door (in a wheelchair) and then wondering how I was going to get through the door and up one stair with no railings lol it was just a right chore, my parents felt so sorry for me and I felt sorry for them too.  Also on my birthday my parents came up to see me and we had a nice meal at lunchtime.  Jo, my friend from work came in with a collection and cards from everyone at work and loads of my other friends turned up. I was so spoilt.

Through out April, May and June I slowly started increasing my walk, just a little, I went back to the gym, did my physio, did anything I could think of to get back where I was.

I even remembered thinking about taking a trip to Kerala, Ayurmana Centre for advance healing. I thought that I could stay over there for 8 weeks and get better. I was emailing back to a Dr Apsara to see how to get in.  Unfortunately, it had just become the ‘Monsoon’ season, late May until October, so that was that !

I also thought about a treatment over here ‘Ayurvedic’  We went down to Canterbury, it was so nice and peaceful, the trouble was, that i couldn’t step in the shower with out a splint on and then someone would have to help me. So again, that was that.

If I am honest, I just felt that i should give up, everybody was nice and sympathetic, but they had their own life’s to lead. I just wanted to get better, everyone was helping but i ‘just’ needed to wipe out the last 6 months and get on with life.

I needed to go back to work, I was still using a wheelchair on and off – that wasn’t going to happen !!!

I had given 6 months of off work and it was time to go back. I stayed at my sister’s – Julie, for a couple of days at the beginning of June and my sister Trudi joined us as well, but as I say it was time to get back to what I was doing. I had, had a Stroke, life didn’t stop there, there was much more to get on with and keep doing the gym etc so that one day i would get better.